The Herald-Times has published a leter to the editor that may well be the apex of the form (with apologies to Don Boudreaux of Cafe Hayek, who regularly writes cogent, pithy missives to our nations media dinosaurs). Inexplicably, today’s masterwork is only available online if you are a paid subscriber, so I will reproduce it here (pretty much the whole glorious mess [sic]):
You know, to my opinion, this world is getting more sad by the day. Just like you’ve got these kids that wear their clothes hanging about halfway off.
Then, you have this vehicle pass you on the road, and you start vibrating because they have their stereo up so loud. Well, I hate to tell them, but they’re not hurting anyone but themselves. What are they going to think someday when they get up and they can’t hear anything at all?
And you’ve got these electric wheelchairs in these stores, and then, here come people walking, not a thing wrong with them, but what do they do? They hop on the first one they see. Well, they’re going to pay for that also someday when they come in and they actually do need one.
They’re all gone, but then, they see someone on one that doesn’t need it. I think a person should have something from the doctor stating they need one of those.
And one other thing: If you don’t have a lot of experience at this job your trying to get – or a college degree – you can forget it.
William Blackwell, Bloomington
There’s so much to love here, but they say a joke always dies in surgery, so I will resist the urge to dissect Mr. Blackwell’s work.